Helping clients who find it difficult to spend money

Posted 13 June 2023 by Jon Elkins

A friend of mine recently turned 60. He’s been skiing three times this year and is making the most of every second.

However, he felt on reflection, it might have been a tad excessive. A dearly held wish to ski in Japan might have to go on hold.  

I did some quick sums and said: “How long will you be able to ski for?” I suggested that in 10, maybe 15 years, he might not be as strong and agile as he is now. If he goes skiing for just one week each year, that’s just 3 months’ of skiing in total. Imagine if he was to cram the next 15 years’ worth of ski trips into one? He’d be finished by August. 

It’s scary when you think of it that way. 

Nigel reassured me that he’ll still be skiing at 80, telling me about a friend who is 20 years older than he is and has ‘aluminium’ legs.

While I admire his friend’s ability to keep going, I mentioned we should be cautious about using our friends’ health and longevity as proof that we’ll be equally capable in future. We only get one life. It’d be a shame to let opportunities pass us by only for our situation to change and leave us with regrets.

As I always say, run your own race (or perhaps ski your own piste) not someone else’s. This is something many clients find hard to fully understand.

Not this one though

A client of mine is retiring soon, a few months before he’s 55 actually. His wife is a little older and they want to enjoy as much time together while they can. 

In the next few months they’ll travel to Las Vegas and then St. Lucia, upper class of course. In September, he’s heading to France for the Rugby World Cup. Why not?

But his friends and colleagues can’t quite get their heads around it. How can someone who wants to retire early afford such exploits? Shouldn’t he and his wife be hunkering down and living frugal lives until he finally escapes the workforce?

Naturally I’m delighted that he’s bucked the trend. But most people find it impossible to believe it’s possible to retire early and make the most of the present.

My client is a man of numbers and modelling. He understands the maths. He knows how it works. And together, we’ve created a financial plan that screams: you can do this!’ 

But most successful and financially sensible people often struggle to spend. They put their future selves first while neglecting the present.

Tall poppy syndrome

For those who choose early retirement, there’s one question in particular they’re likely to hear again and again: “Aren’t you going to be bored?”

I wonder if people who ask this question are trying to put their own minds at ease… Working into your 70s or 80s doesn’t sound as daunting if you convince yourself you’d be bored in retirement. 

But it’s also about resistance to change. No one wants to upset the status quo, to risk being different or to look as if they think they’re better than everyone else. But this means rather than risk humiliation, clients are potentially missing out on life. Being the outlier takes courage. It’s our job to help them out here.

Turning money into happiness

Another client of mine was recently widowed. After years of thriftiness through his illness, she found it hard to start spending money. It was a challenging transition, especially when it comes to spending that she considers to be from her husband’s savings – the joint future they never had. 

They always dreamed of buying a property by the sea but now that she has, she’s yet to move there. The plan has changed. This was their dream after all. When he became ill, their priorities had to alter. They bought a home with her daughter who’d just had a baby, and all moved in together. That way, she could help with the baby and her daughter could help with dad’s care, spending valuable time together.

It’s six months since his death and the pension is still sitting with Aviva. It’s hard for her even to contemplate spending it.

It’s only recently, after some encouragement, that she’s feeling comfortable with looking for ways to turn her money into happiness.

One thing we settled on is that she gets a lot of joy from giving it away. She’s thinking of getting a gardener, returning to the theatre and lunches with friends, and of course, spoiling her grandchild. 

This isn’t an easy path to navigate with clients. But put like this, it’s a world away from the traditional notion of ‘asset management’. Seeing clients enjoy their hard-earned money, looking after their present selves as much as their future selves, is of course, what it’s all about.

If clients remain unconvinced, I share one last point with them, asking them to think how different Christmas Day can be from one year to the next. The number of people around the table is constantly fluctuating. And as the pandemic showed, how we spend our time isn’t always within our control. I tell them we’ve got to grab life by the horns while we can. YOLO!

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Jon Elkins

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Jon Elkins